By Ruth Nemzoff

reprinted with permission from InterfaithFamily.com.

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As I have traveled around the world, I've learned that Jewish communities survive by being welcoming.

A particular example of this is the Jews of Cuba. Most Jews left Cuba after the revolution, leaving only a small remnant of the community. In the early '90s, the Soviet Union broke up and left Cuba without a patron. Castro then changed government policy toward religion from atheist to secular and allowed some religious practice. The Cuban Jewish community appealed to the international Jewish Community to help them, specifically requesting things like matzah at Pesach. All over Cuba, persons with some Jewish connection in their past came to get the matzah, in part because food was scarce. This enabled the Jewish community to create a list of persons with at least a minor interest in Judaism. It then obtained permission from Castro to teach vocational courses, and, subsequently, religious courses, and to offer free Friday night dinners to anyone from this list who was interested.

Initially, the Jewish community did not ask, "Are you Jewish?" They did not ask, "Is your mother Jewish?" It was only when the person was interested enough to actually convert to Judaism that they asked these kinds of questions. Now, the community has grown to 400 families, most of whom are intermarried.

The American Jewish community can learn a lot from the Cubans: welcome first, teach, give opportunities for learning and participation, and only then, ask about one's background.

In New Zealand, the Orthodox Jewish day school has a huge percentage of Christians in it. Christians join the school because it is the best school in town, just as Jews send their children to St. Mark's or St. Paul's because of its fine reputation. In America, on the other hand, we too often turn away children whose mother is not Jewish. We have a lot to learn from the New Zealanders: let anyone come and learn. If we put up fewer barriers to entry, would we not create a more educated Jewish population?

In Shanghai, Chabad welcomes everyone to celebrate and to come study. Only later do they ask about one's lineage. The Frenchman with the Jewish father is welcomed, the curious and the uneducated are all welcomed.

In the small Jewish congregation in Delhi, every visitor is given a blessing of good luck and health, whether they are Jewish or not. No one asks, they just include. And when two sons with Hindi wives came to remember the 25th anniversary of their Jewish mother's death with prayers and a contribution to the synagogue, their children were blessed and included in the ceremony. Maybe we have something to learn from this small but still alive Jewish community: Welcome anyone who chooses to enter.

In parts of America with small Jewish communities, anyone who is willing to work is welcome to join the sisterhood. In Nashua, New Hampshire, in 1970, with less than a classroom full of Jewish children to start a new nursery school, the community began one anyway, and soon had a waiting list because of its excellence. The Christian families who sent their children to the school learned that "Jews didn't have horns." Maybe some of those children will marry Jews and be willing to bring their children up Jewish.

Communities that have been forced to open their doors to survive have both survived and thrived.

Is there a lesson for us? The American Jewish community should open its gates of learning to any interested person. In this case, "Don't ask" may be the best policy, at least initially.

Dr. Ruth Nemzoff is a resident scholar at Brandeis Women's Studies Research Center where she is currently studying the relationships between parents and their adult children. In addition, she is an adjunct asoociate professor of Government at Bentley College.

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